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With a few effortless clicks, we all now have the power to be an activist. A decent internet connection and a social media platform or two enable us to start dialogues, promote causes we believe in and have our voices heard when battling injustice. But our keyboard activism should serve to compliment -- not replace -- our physical presence on the front-lines in the fight against inequality, injustice and hate. We need to stand up -- literally -- for what we believe in. Jennifer Louise Lopez didn't limit her activism to her laptop when she came across a sign outside a Harlem church that read: "Jesus would stone homos. Harlem is a homo free zone." Jennifer walked up to the church, knocked on their front door and said: "I saw your sign, and I'm here for my stoning. I'm a lesbian." Jennifer's courageous activism went viral. News outlets across the country covered her stoning request, igniting conversations about freedom of speech and hate speech. Over 11,000 supporters shared the article online and The Young Turks video piece reached 124,583 views on YouTube. The fight against the disrespect and hatred of pastor James David Manning had started. A protest was scheduled for Saturday, March 29, at 11:30 a.m. in front of the ATLAH Worldwide Missionary Church on 123 St. and Lenox in Harlem. Leaders of various LGBT groups gave speeches, we all sang, we hugged, we held up a huge rainbow flag, we took photos and we proudly protested against hate. It was beautiful to fight for respect together, even as the rain poured and a man in a suit and bow-tie passed out anti-gay pamphlets. Photos can be seen here Jennifer Louise Lopez, a Harlem resident and transgender activist, organized the protest after having called Manning’s bluff recently by showing up at the church and telling a mystified employee she was there for her stoning. She told the crowd that Manning “is a very hateful and dangerous man,” according to a press release. She added, “We will no longer stand by while evangelical Christian churches misrepresent us." Lopez, a member of the United Methodist Church, also called for a worldwide day of solidarity on Easter Sunday against churches that preach hate. Others speaking at the protest included Jim Eigo, a veteran ACT UP member who said Manning’s dogma “keeps people in the closet about their sex lives” and discourages testing for HIV. “AIDS is still killing so many in this neighborhood,” said Eigo, who works with the AIDS Prevention Task Force at Harlem United. “We know that words of hate and retribution like Pastor Manning’s words just aid and abet this disease.” Another demonstrator, who goes by the single name Lovari, read a passage from the Bible’s Gospel of Matthew that he said showed support for androgynous and LGBT people. “For there are eunuchs who are born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who are made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who make themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven,” the passage states. “He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.” Manning did not emerge, but one point the group moved to the side entrance of the church, where they repeatedly rang the building's buzzer and raised their fists while they shouted, “We’re here for our stoning! We’re here for our stoning!” Several church members watched from inside through a glass door, smiling and chatting, according to the press release.
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Yesterday, US Department of Justice (DOJ) Associate Attorney General Tony West launched the Transgender Law Enforcement Training, a first-of-its kind cultural competency training by a federal agency for local law enforcement.
With input from the National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) and other local and national organizations, the new training will help local authorities improve their interactions with transgender people. Ultimately, the training aims to prevent mistreatment and restore trust between police officers and transgender people who have often faced profiling and violence from law enforcement. In the announcement, West said, “By helping us turn the page on these painful experiences, today’s training will help lay a stronger foundation of trust between LGBT communities that are disproportionately the victims of hate violence — particularly the transgender community – and those who are charged with the awesome responsibility of protecting and serving.” “This is an important first step to begin to address the very real problems we see with law enforcement and the trans community across the country,” said Harper Jean Tobin, NCTE Director of Policy. “Make no mistake–training officers alone is not going to remedy a history of mistrust, misconceptions, profiling, and mistreatment. We urge departments to adopt clear policies of respect for transgender people’s identities in how they are addressed, searched, and held, protecting their dignity and prohibiting profiling. We urge communities to press for stronger oversight. And we urge DOJ to do more to back these efforts. For many communities, this training is one valuable tool in this larger project.” The National Center for Transgender Equality urges local law enforcement to request this training with their regional DOJ Community Relations Service office. We encourage transgender advocates experienced in similar trainings to volunteer their time and expertise with regional CRS offices to help bring this training to their communities. ********************************************************** Associate Attorney General Tony West Delivers Remarks at the Community Relations Service Transgender Law Enforcement Training ~ Thursday, March 27, 2014 Thank you, Director Lum, for that warm welcome. I am very pleased to be with you this morning to help kick off the Community Relations Service’s new Transgender Law Enforcement Training. This training has been in the works for some time now. For the last several years, the Justice Department at various levels has engaged in a constructive dialogue, animated by common aspirations and common concerns, with LGBT leaders throughout the country. And one of the many ideas we’ve received finds its manifestation in today’s gathering: a transgender law enforcement cultural professionalism training. It’s clear that such a training is as necessary as it is overdue. Because too often, in too many places, we know that transgender victims are discouraged from reporting hate crimes and hate violence due to their past negative interactions with and perceptions of law enforcement. We know that such experiences have undermined the confidence transgender victims have in our justice system: they’ve sown seeds of distrust; they’ve created fear where there should be reassurance; and they’ve led victims of crime to think twice about seeking the assistance of or cooperating with law enforcement. By helping us turn the page on these painful experiences, today’s training will help lay a stronger foundation of trust between LGBT communities that are disproportionately the victims of hate violence — particularly the transgender community – and those who are charged with the awesome responsibility of protecting and serving. And there is no better DOJ component to take the lead in this effort than CRS. Under both the Attorney General’s and Grande’s leadership, CRS has redoubled its dedication to its mission under the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act: to help communities prevent and respond to hate violence, and to build stronger communities in the process. Indeed, one of CRS’ core strengths lies in its singular ability to convene parties who are in conflict and get them to work together. It’s a skill CRS has been exercising for nearly 50 years, since it was established under the Civil Rights Act of 1964. That’s thousands of cases resolved; thousands of disputes mediated; and thousands of peaceful outcomes obtained across this nation by the dedicated efforts of CRS conciliators. Today’s launch of the Transgender Law Enforcement Training is yet another important step in the right direction. It’s what the pursuit of justice can look like in the 21st century. Let me close by saying that as someone who has been privileged to work with law enforcement for most of my career -- first as a federal prosecutor in a U.S. Attorney's Office, then as an attorney in the California Attorney General's Office, and now as part of the Department’s leadership – I have a deep appreciation and admiration for those who take on the extremely difficult duties of serving in law enforcement. Theirs is not an easy task and for most, excellence is their yardstick. Today’s training will help these dedicated women and men in uniform achieve that goal of excellence in service. That is why I’m so grateful to all of you who are here to help make today’s session a success. It’s now my great pleasure to introduce another dedicated law enforcement leader, Deputy Attorney General Jim Cole. On Thursday, Human Rights Campaign (HRC) launched a new online video series entitled, “Debunking the Myths: Transgender Health & Well-Being.” The series seeks to address the stereotypes and misconceptions faced by transgender and gender nonconforming people. HRC plans to release additional videos throughout March 2014. A New Resource Helping Lesbians Create & Sustain Healthy Relationships Relationships can be challenging for everyone, but queer women and lesbians often have some particular problem spots in the areas of communication, merging and sex. Add that to the homophobia many of us experience, the abuse histories we often have, and the fact that we grew up without models of healthy, happy queer or lesbian love – and it’s no wonder many of us need some help creating and sustaining the relationship of our dreams! We know. We’ve been there! Each of us struggled through a number of painful relationships and breakups before we finally created the deeply stable, passionate, open-hearted and nourishing connection we now enjoy. After eight years, it truly grows stronger, deeper and richer every day! But getting here took us many years of trial and error. Michelle’s first long-term partnership was abusive. Ruth tended to get together with “unavailable” women. We both went through our share of drama, fights and heartache. Finally we realized… It’s not just about meeting the right woman. It’s about making the right choices, every step of the way. That’s what we learned how to do – and we want to help you do it, too! While life experience has been our greatest teacher, we also have professional credentials: between the two of us, we’ve taught at eight universities, published 14 books, and hold advanced degrees in Neuroscience, Transpersonal Psychology and Theological Studies. We’ve also been members of the lesbian/queer communities for over 30 years. Now we’ve combined everything we know to create Conscious Girlfriend – and to make love easier for you. We’ve got lots of ways to help – including the many free resources on this site: videos, articles, our “Ask CG” advice column, and the “Five Keys to a Happy Lesbian Relationship,” which you’ll receive just by entering your email address in the right-hand column. We also offer coaching to both individuals and couples. Whether you’re healing from a breakup, navigating dating, “single and looking” or struggling in a relationship – or simply wanting to take your connection deeper – we will work with you 2:1 or 2:2 to give you direct, focused support. Coaching is not like therapy; it’s a much faster path to transformation! Check it out here. And we’ve got an amazing retreat coming up! Imagine spending the weekend at a beautiful hilltop retreat center, eating gourmet food, soaking in the hot tub, connecting with like-minded “conscious girlfriends” from all over the country – while also learning the lesbian-specific communication, intimacy-sustaining and conflict-healing skills that can transform your (love) life?! Special pricing available thru 3/22/2014.
If you are over 60 – please know that it is not too late! Many of the women at our workshops are in your age range. Some are long-time singles who had grown weary of drama, and cynical about creating lasting love. But the tools we offer can help. If you’re in your 40s or 50s, you, too, are in just the right spot. The skills and tools we’ll help you learn will make a huge difference in the rest of your (love) life. And if you are under 40 – or even under 30 – please know that it is also not too early to become a Conscious Girlfriend! Many of the women who contact us are struggling through their first or second deep relationship – or breakup – and wondering, “Isn’t there a better way?” (And the answer is: Yes, there is – and we’ll help you create it!) Why Conscious Girlfriend? And why now? If you google “relationship coaching” or “relationship classes,” you’ll find literally thousands of options out there… and 99.999% will be heterosexual. Although most straight relationship coaches and workshop leaders are open to participants of all sexual orientations, how comfortable would you really feel being the only queer couple at a workshop…or talking about your intimate issues with someone who just may not “get it?” There have been painfully few options for lesbians and queer women who really wanted to grow their relationships… until now. This is our moment — we’re out of the closet and walking down the altar! Now that we finally have greater social acceptance, it’s time for us to learn to create and sustain the happy love relationships we want and deserve – not just for our own sake, but for the sake of our entire community. It’s time for happy, healthy queer and lesbian love! In May, they will host their first live Conscious Girlfriend weekend retreat! Please check out their website at www.consciousgirlfriend.com KET debate on LGBT Fairness in KY
Kentucky Tonight Bill and his guests discuss LGBT rights. Scheduled guests: Enid Trucios-Haynes, president of the American Civil Liberties Union of Kentucky; Martin Cothran, senior policy analyst for The Family Foundation of Kentucky; Chris Hartman, director of the Fairness Campaign; and- Richard Nelson, executive director of the Commonwealth Policy Center. Vice President Joe Biden called on Congress Saturday to pass a measure to outlaw workplace discrimination against gays, saying it's outrageous that the country is even debating the subject. Speaking to supporters of the gay advocacy group Human Rights Campaign on Saturday, Biden said it's "close to barbaric" that in some states, employees can be fired because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
"Imagine 20 years from now as America looked back and say 'How in the hell can that ever been allowed?' The country's moved on, the American people have moved on," he said. He said it was time for Congress to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act — known as ENDA — which would bar employers with 15 or more workers from using a person's sexual orientation or gender identity as the basis for making employment decisions, including hiring, firing, compensation or promotion. Religious institutions and the military would be exempted. Biden also criticized Russia's ban on so-called gay "propaganda" and its military actions in Ukrainian territory. "The great anti-Soviet dissident Andrei Sakharov said, 'A country that does not respect the rights of its citizens will not respect the rights of its neighbor.' And we're seeing that today in Ukraine," Biden said. 1 Woman Takes Action, Calls Out ATLAH Worldwide Missionary Church. "I'm here for my stoning"3/21/2014 When Jennifer Louise Lopez first saw the horrific anti-gay sign go up on The ATLAH Worldwide Missionary Church in her neighborhood in Harlem, she knew she had to take action. Run by Dr. James David Manning, a man who has been outspokenly critical of the Obama administration and the progression of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) rights over the course of the past six years, the church made headlines in late February when religious leaders posted a polarizing sign that read "Obama has released the homo demons on the black man. Look out black woman. A white homo may take your man." The church then later replaced the sign with one that read "Jesus would stone homos," along with "Stoning is still the law" and Bible verses Matthew 5:17-19, Deuteronomy 17:5-7, Leviticus 20:13 and John 8:1-11. In response, Lopez knocked on the church's front door this week and informed the man who answered that she was there for her stoning. "I saw your sign and I'm here for my stoning, I'm a lesbian," Lopez informs the man in the video below, which Lopez posted on her Facebook. The man, who seems a bit unsure as to what he should say, ultimately tells Lopez that he doesn't have any stones but she should come back the next day.
"I hope that by going up to the door and presenting myself as the human and the product of [Goddess’] creation, churches can begin to understand that us lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are the very same creations that they are," Lopez told The Huffington Post. "My [Goddess] is one of peace, love and inclusion for everyone. As a United Methodist Christian I would love to see that one day soon all of our churches, including any religion, are able to finally stop the discrimination toward LGBT people." Lopez noted in the comments section of the video that her actions were inspired by Pamela Raintree, a transgender woman who dared a lawmaker to stone her last January. Raintree decided to confront Councilman Ron Webb after he remained the single dissenting vote against the LGBT non-discrimination ordinance that passed in Shreveport, Louisiana, last December and then masterminded a repeal of the ordinance. After Raintree's incredible speech, Webb rescinded his repeal. Westboro church founder Fred Phelps dies By Daniel Burke, CNN Fred Phelps -- the founding pastor of a Kansas church known for its virulently anti-gay protests at public events, including military funerals -- has died, the church said Thursday. The 84-year-old died of natural causes at 11:15 p.m. Wednesday, according to church spokesman Steve Drain.
Phelps founded Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas, in 1955 and molded it in his fire-and-brimstone image. Many members of the small congregation are related to Phelps through blood or marriage. In a statement Thursday, the church chided the "world-wide media" for "gleefully anticipating the death." 2003: Phelps on Matthew Shepard statue "God forbid, if every little soul at the Westboro Baptist Church were to die at this instant, or to turn from serving the true and living God, it would not change one thing about the judgments of God that await this deeply corrupted nation and world." According to Westboro, the church has picketed more than 53,000 events, ranging from Lady Gaga concerts to funerals for slain U.S. soldiers. Typically, a dozen or so church members -- including small children -- will brandish signs that say "God Hates Fags" and "Thank God for Dead Soldiers." Phelps was often called "the most hated man in America," a label he seemed to relish. "If I had nobody mad at me," he told the Wichita Eagle in 2006, "what right would I have to claim that I was preaching the Gospel?" Under Phelps' leadership, Westboro members have preached that every calamity, from natural disasters to the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in Newtown, Connecticut, is God's punishment for the country's acceptance of homosexuality. Phelps had advocated for gays and lesbians to be put to death. "Fred Phelps will not be missed by the LGBT community, people with HIV/AIDS and the millions of decent people across the world who found what he and his followers do deeply hurtful and offensive," the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force said in a statement. Phelps began his anti-gay protests in Wichita in 1991 after complaining that the city refused to stop gay activities in a public park. He rose to national notoriety in 1998, when Westboro members picketed at the funeral of Matthew Shepard, a Wyoming man who was tortured and murdered because he was gay. Phelps and his church carried signs that said Shepard was rotting in hell. The Southern Poverty Law Center calls Westboro Baptist Church "arguably the most obnoxious and rabid hate group in America." In 2011, the Supreme Court upheld Westboro's right to picket military funerals on free speech grounds. Congress and several states, though, have passed laws aimed at keeping church members at a distance from funerals. In 2013, more than 367,000 petitioners called on the White House to legally recognize Westboro Baptist Church as a hate group. The White House called Westboro's protests "reprehensible" but said that "as a matter of practice, the federal government doesn't maintain a list of hate groups." Anti-gay preacher once fought for civil rights Born in Meridian, Mississippi, on November 29, 1929, Phelps had his sights set on West Point before he attended a Methodist revival. He said the sermon inspired him to enter the ministry. "I felt the call, as they say, and it was powerful," Phelps told the Topeka Capital-Journal in 1994. "The God of glory appeared." Later, Phelps was ordained by a Southern Baptist church in Utah. He bounced around several Christian colleges as his preaching and his theology took a hard right turn. A Time magazine article from 1951 describes Phelps as a "craggy-faced engineering student" who harangued fellow students about the dangers of promiscuity and profanity. Tim Miller, a professor of religious history at the University of Kansas who has studied Westboro Baptist Church, said Phelps liked to consider himself a "primitive Baptist preacher who held to the old ways." Despite its "Baptist" name, Westboro is not affiliated with any larger church denomination. Most Christians criticize the congregation's harsh anti-gay rhetoric and penchant for pursuing the limelight at inappropriate moments. Phelps married his wife, Marge, who survives him, in 1952. The couple moved to Topeka on May 4, 1954, the day the Supreme Court handed down its landmark decision Brown v. Board of Education, which desegregated public schools. Phelps interpreted that as a sign and soon began a law career that centered on civil rights, winning awards for his work and praise from local leaders. "Most blacks -- that's who they went to," the Rev. Ben Scott, president of the NAACP's Topeka branch, told CNN in 2010. "I don't know if he was cheaper or if he had that stick-to-it-ness, but Fred didn't lose many back then." Phelps was disbarred from practicing law in state courts, however, after being accused of badgering a witness and making false claims in court affidavits. The Kansas Supreme Court said that Phelps "has little regard for the ethics of his profession." Phelps surrendered his license to practice law in federal courts in 1989, according to the Topeka Capital-Journal, after nine U.S. District Court judges filed disciplinary complaints against him. Most of the members of Phelps' Westboro Baptist Church are members of his large family. Phelps has 13 children; 11 are attorneys. One son, Nathan, is estranged from his father and from organized religion. He is an atheist. Nathan Phelps posted a Facebook message March 15 saying that his father had been excommunicated from the church. Later, though, Nathan Phelps said it was "unclear" whether his father had been expelled from Westboro. A church statement issued on March 16 said that "membership issues are private" and that eight unnamed elders lead the congregation. On Thursday, the church added, "Listen carefully; there are no power struggles in the Westboro Baptist Church, and there is no human intercessor -- we serve no man, and no hierarchy, only the Lord Jesus Christ." For years, Phelps joked about the possibility that his own funeral would draw protests. During a sermon in 2006, he said a CNN reporter once asked how he would feel if that occurred. "I'd love it. I'd invite them," Phelps told the reporter, according to the Wichita Eagle. "I said: 'I'll put in my will to pay your way. But not first class.' " But Shirley Phelps-Roper, Phelps' daughter, said Westboro will not hold a funeral. "We do not worship the dead," Phelps-Roper told CNN. You Know The Song 'Same Love'? Here Is A Brutally Honest Version Of It By A Pansexual Rapper. Macklemore and Mary Lambert collaborated to produce the well-known song "Same Love," which became famous for its lyrics supporting gay rights. I like that song and its message. But I *love* this version by pansexual rapper/singer Angel Haze, who replaced the lyrics with her own deeply personal experiences. Just listen to her powerful story. *****Transcript of lyrics***************** Hi Mom, I’m really scared right now, but I have to At age thirteen, my mom knew I wasn’t straight She didn’t understand, but she had so much to say She sat me on the couch, looked me straight in my face And said you’ll burn in hell or probably die of AIDS It’s funny now, but at thirteen it was pain To be almost sure of who you are and have it ripped away And I’m sorry if it’s too real for some of you to fathom But hate for who you love is not exactly what you’d imagine And I guess it was disastrous Because everything that happened afterwards was just madness Locked away for two years to keep me on the inside Because she’d rather see a part of me die than me thrive And it’s tougher when it’s something you can’t deny And ignorance teaches us it’s something you decide You’re driven by your choices, an optical illusion Here’s to understanding it’s not always confusion And I can’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to And I can’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to My love, my love, my love She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm I’ve walked the halls of my school And I’ve seen kids hide behind walls and footballs and things like pride I’ve seen innocent children suffer beneath bruises Suffer beneath every single hand that chooses Ignorance, fuck your religion Fuck constitutions, fuck superstitions There are no lakes of fire; they’re here on earth And the only thing to do is put love first And so I stand for the boy who died by his hand To the sound of his father screaming “woman loves man” This is Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve And I stand for the girl with the cuts up her sleeve And the heart in her hand and a chip on her shoulder And I stand for it all until ignorance is over This is for you, for knowing who you are For never letting your magic outside of your heart Be you, be brave and understand that things do change I accept you for you when I don’t understand And I love you for you cause this is who I am I accepted you for you when I didn’t understand Now love me for me cause this is who I am Here’s a message to the people who just don’t get it Love is love, there is no difference Not a medication to fix it There is no prescription No rehab to visit, it is not an addiction It’s love and it’s selfless It’s yours and everybody else’s So don’t badger and abuse the solemnly defenseless See us as yourself, there’s no equality in difference Until we all get it, we’ll be drowning in the same blood Despite orientation, we all feel the same love We’ll be drowning in the same blood Despite orientation, we all feel the same love We are boxed in and labeled Or who we dream we'll become Like drum beats forever changing their rhythm I am living today as someone I had not yet become yesterday And tonight I'll only borrow pieces of who I am today To carry with me to tomorrow No, I'm not gay No, I'm not straight And I sure as hell am not bisexual Damn it I am whoever I am when I am it Loving whoever you are when the stars shine And whoever you'll be when the sun rises So here's to being able Here's to love Here's to loving just because Here’s to acceptance Here’s to never fearing the fear of rejection Here’s to love and never neglecting who you feel you are Here’s to bullies because beatings cannot last forever Heres’ to the moment you realize things do get better Here’s to the parents who will get it when its too late Here’s to second chances Here’s to new fate Here’s to every single moment you’ve ever had to hide you Here’s to the single star shining bright inside you, asking you to guide you Here’s to who you’ll be when you figure it all out Here’s to momentary doubt Here’s to feeling, because we all feel it the same Here’s to the moment that things will change Because we all feel love, we all feel it the same Here’s to love, here’s to change There may be small errors in this transcript. Original "Same Love"
(with Ryan Lewis) (feat. Mary Lambert) When I was in the third grade I thought that I was gay, 'Cause I could draw, my uncle was, and I kept my room straight. I told my mom, tears rushing down my face She's like "Ben you've loved girls since before pre-k, trippin' " Yeah, I guess she had a point, didn't she? Bunch of stereotypes all in my head. I remember doing the math like, "Yeah, I'm good at little league" A preconceived idea of what it all meant For those that liked the same sex Had the characteristics The right wing conservatives think it's a decision And you can be cured with some treatment and religion Man-made rewiring of a predisposition Playing God, aw nah here we go America the brave still fears what we don't know And God loves all his children, is somehow forgotten But we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago I don't know And I can't change Even if I tried Even if I wanted to And I can't change Even if I tried Even if I wanted to My love My love My love She keeps me warm She keeps me warm She keeps me warm She keeps me warm If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me Have you read the YouTube comments lately? "Man, that's gay" gets dropped on the daily We become so numb to what we're saying A culture founded from oppression Yet we don't have acceptance for 'em Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board A word rooted in hate, yet our genre still ignores it Gay is synonymous with the lesser It's the same hate that's caused wars from religion Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment The same fight that led people to walk outs and sit ins It's human rights for everybody, there is no difference! Live on and be yourself When I was at church they taught me something else If you preach hate at the service those words aren't anointed That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen I might not be the same, but that's not important No freedom till we're equal, damn right I support it (I don't know) And I can't change Even if I tried Even if I wanted to My love My love My love She keeps me warm She keeps me warm She keeps me warm She keeps me warm We press play, don't press pause Progress, march on With the veil over our eyes We turn our back on the cause Till the day that my uncles can be united by law When kids are walking 'round the hallway plagued by pain in their heart A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are And a certificate on paper isn't gonna solve it all But it's a damn good place to start No law is gonna change us We have to change us Whatever God you believe in We come from the same one Strip away the fear Underneath it's all the same love About time that we raised up And I can't change Even if I tried Even if I wanted to And I can't change Even if I try Even if I wanted to My love My love My love She keeps me warm She keeps me warm She keeps me warm She keeps me warm Love is patient Love is kind Love is patient Love is kind (not crying on Sundays) Love is patient (not crying on Sundays) Love is kind (I'm not crying on Sundays) Love is patient (not crying on Sundays) Love is kind (I'm not crying on Sundays) Love is patient (not crying on Sundays) Love is kind (I'm not crying on Sundays) Love is patient Love is kind Two weeks after Kentucky Attorney General Jack Conway (D) refused to defend Kentucky's gay marriage ban, the state's top lawyer offered more insight on how he came to that decision.
Conway sat down with HuffPost Live on Wednesday, explaining that when the Kentucky and U.S. constitutions "were in conflict," he had to act in favor of the U.S. Constitution as "the ultimate law of the land." "I felt like that from a fiscal responsibility standpoint, I didn't need to be wasting taxpayer resources in a lawsuit that we weren't going to win or in an appeal that we weren't going to win," Conway said. "For the sake of my daughter's view on my public service in the future, I wanted to be on the right side of history." Back on Feb. 27, a federal judge ordered officials in Kentucky to immediately recognize same-sex marriages from other states and countries. That ruling followed the judge's Feb. 12 edict to overturn the state's overall gay marriage ban. On March 4, Conway announced at a news conference that he would not appeal the judge's Feb. 27 order on other states and countries, saying he "would be defending discrimination" by doing so. Kentucky Gov. Steve Beshear (D) felt differently, deciding the same day that he would appeal with outside counsel, warning of "legal chaos." "He and I just came to two very different places," Conway added Wednesday, referring to Beshear. A federal judge is giving Kentucky more time to officially recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states and countries.The ruling Wednesday comes just two days before gay couples would have been allowed to change their names on official identifications and documents and obtain the benefits of any married couple in Kentucky.
U.S. District Judge John G. Heyburn in a four-page order said it is best that momentous changes in the law happen after full review, rather than running the risk of premature implementation or confusing the issues. Heyburn's order is similar to orders granting same-sex marriage recognition rights but putting implementation on hold in Texas, Utah, Virginia and other states. WATCH : Straight Guy and Lesbian Discuss Lesbian Myths! Besides the typical straight guy who says things like, "You just haven't found the right guy (dick) yet." And asks, "Why do you hate men?"--they're are some who are pretty cool. So stereotypical myths about lesbians aren't as common anymore. We are educating the masses a little at a time -- just by being ourselves. But, let's be real. There are always SOME myths that ARE true.
Dr Christian Jessen, the British TV doctor who presents Embarrassing Bodies, tonight goes undercover in an alarming documentary, testing various therapies which claim to 'rid' people of homosexuality.
In the Channel 4 documentary, Undercover Doctor: Cure Me I’m Gay, openly gay Dr Jessen explores the various controversial methods being deployed in the UK and US to ‘cure’ gay patients. These include 'aversion therapy' in UK and 'gay rehab' in the US. We see Dr Jessen given bottle of ipecac syrup to drink, to make him vomit for hours while looking at pictures of naked men and listening to tapes telling him he is ‘worthless,’ that being gay was evil and that he should want to have sex with women. This ‘shock therapy’ used to be deployed by doctors for treating homosexuality, ‘since probably the 1920s, 30, 40s and going on well into the 1970s and 80s,’ Dr Jessen tells Mail Online. Patients were given injections every two hours which would make them vomit and have diarrhoea. The theory was that, afterwards, seeing images of naked men or having homosexual thoughts, would cause a physical reaction. No patients claimed to be cured by this method. ‘I can’t believe that people like me – a doctor – would actually prescribe this to people like me – gay,’ Dr Jessen told This Morning. The documentary then shows Dr Jessen visit the southern states of America, known as the Bible Belt. Some in these deeply religious areas believe that being gay is a state of mind - one that can be treated. ‘The most shocking thing, was that these religious leaders do not believe we were born gay, but that it’s a condition caused by childhood trauma,’ says Dr Jessen in the documentary. Worried about how these views would affect young people, Dr Jessen contacted many Evangelistic churches within the Bible Belt, but they refused to grant him interviews. Instead, he spoke to young church-goers outside the building to ask their views. We see him speak to various teenagers, who stated that being gay is a ‘state of mind.’ Two teenage girls, aged 16 and 20, explain that being gay ‘happens when bad spirits are inside you. Demons.’ Dr Jessen is visibly upset by this. ‘Imagine being gay and being told that?’ he says, before crying in frustration. ‘I think you should get me out of here, I’ve had enough,’ he says to the camera crew before walking away. ‘I’d been doing reasonably well before then, keeping myself together and regarding all of this as just nonsense,’ Dr Jessen tell Mail Online. ‘Rather stupidly, I thought younger people must share different views and I hoped to see some open-mindedness. ‘It saddened me deeply that this wasn’t the case. ‘They don’t come up with these ideas themselves, they are taught them, and that’s incredibly worrying. ‘They go to schools where creationism is taught over evolution, it’s unbelievable.’ During ‘right brain therapy,’ Dr Jessen went undercover, posing as ‘Adrian’, a gay man who wanted to be cured. He visited Jerry Mungadze, an ex-church pastor, who claims to be a doctor. However, as Dr Jessen found out, Mungadze has no medical qualifications beyond a minor degree in psychology. His ‘right brain therapy,’ which costs $250, claims to spot how gay the patient actually is, and why, by getting them to colour in a drawing of a brain. Posing as ‘Adrian,’ Dr Jessen did this, with no prior medical consultation from Mungadze, who even admitted to being colour blind. ‘Adrian’ had to describe which part of the drawing he had filled in which colour. ‘He told me the parts I’d drawn in black symbolised all the abuse I’d had as a child,’ says Dr Jessen. ‘Which is odd because I had a happy childhood and a lovely relationship with my parents.’ Unbelievably, we see Mungadze tell ‘Adrian’ that the thyroid gland (the gland located in your neck) and the adrenal gland (located above the kidney) are both located in the brain. ‘What a load of absolute nonsense,’ says Dr Jessen. ‘It’s damaging because people watch his videos and actually think you can retrain the brain.’ Dr Jessen also investigated ‘gay rehab.’ Dr Jessen visits John Smid, who is now openly gay, but for years was married and living in denial. Smid used to run a rehabilitation programme for gay men before he accepted his sexuality and retired in 2007. 'As with drug or alcohol rehabilitation, the rehab attempts to completely isolate the patient from his addiction,’ explains Dr Jessen. For $3,000 a month, Smid’s three-month Love In Action programme would ‘take the patient away from anything he deemed gay,’ such as clothes and music. Smid then talks Dr Jessen through 'gay rehab', as if he were still conducting the course, rifling through his suitcase and discarding anything that might 'cause us to feel sensual or sexual.' Sorting through Dr Jessen’s CDs, Smid claims that music ‘rises up the senses,’ so he should only listen to ‘Christian music.’ Smid says his Mozart CD would be identified as ‘not Christian,’ and his Adele CD would be seen as equally inappropriate, as the singer is popular within the gay community. Smid himself now admits: 'I’ve never met a man who experienced a change from homosexual to heterosexual.' Dr Jessen says that he hopes the documentary raises awareness and helps the gay community feel more assured. ‘I hope young, vulnerable people who perhaps may have considered these therapies will watch the programme and realise it’s all nonsense and they have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of,’ he says. Recently, writer Brynn Tannehill produced a list of misconceptions that plague people's understanding of gender-confirmation surgeries
(in particular, those of the genital variety). Perusing her inventory, I nodded in recognition at every barb; like her, I've heard all these and more hurled at me, my loved ones, or my comrades online. "It's not life-or-death," "It's cosmetic," "You need therapy, not surgery," and "It will burden taxpayers" are among the many toxic myths in need of exploding. Inspired, I decided to build on this conversation by considering the specific fictions concerning trans-male procedures and embodiments -- and I hope to read a list generated about women's gender-specific experiences as well. So -- with the caveats that this list is not exhaustive and I am no medical expert -- it's time to bust some myths! 1. Without genital reconstruction, trans men aren't "real" men. I look forward to a day where this goes without saying: Being a man is so much more before and beyond what's in one's pants. Rather, being a man is first and foremost about knowing oneself as a man, working toward being the kind of man one wants to be, and being acknowledged publicly and intimately as a man if that's necessary to one's self-actualization. The individual -- not the system -- knows best. Cisgender and transgender men share these needs, and we also share feelings of hurt (and possibly threats) when our manhood goes unacknowledged or denied, particularly based on external factors like perceptions of our anatomy. This is the case whether one's genitals are exposed (which is irrelevant to 95 percent of interactions) or not. 2. There's only one kind of genital reconstruction. Media portrays transgender people as seeking the surgery -- you know, that one, single "sex-change" operation? The reality, however, is that trans people seek many gender-confirming surgeries, and the most popular among men -- chest reconstruction -- does not even have to do with the genitals. Concerning genital reconstruction, the go-to image is of a surgery that creates a penis (or whatever a man may refer to this organ as). For this goal, there are actually two different procedures men seek. A metoidioplasty is the removal of the ligaments surrounding a testosterone-enlargened phallus/clitoris, allowing it to protrude further from the body. A phalloplasty is a construction of a penis from tissue harvested from either the forearm, the side of the chest, the pubic area, or the thigh. Men sometimes first undergo a metoidioplasty and then later undergo a phalloplasty. In addition, there is a host of other reconstructive surgeries that take existing tissues to construct or enhance parts: urethraplasty/urethral lengthening, scrotoplasty (constructing the scrotum), and glansoplasty (constructing the head of the penis). Furthermore, there are surgeries that pertain to the removal of internal sex organs: hysterectomy (removal of the uterus), oophorectomy (removal of the ovaries), and vaginectomy/colpectomy (removal of the vagina). A mons resection removes external pubic fat so that the genitals protrude further. All of these are among what trans men informally refer to as "bottom surgeries." Knowing a man is seeking bottom reconstruction doesn't necessarily clue a listener in to what surgery he seeks -- nor should it. A person's body parts are private knowledge, unless they choose to share that knowledge with others. Nobody has a right to know simply by virtue of being curious. 3. All trans men want genital reconstruction. This misconception emerges in part from a cultural logic that says that no man would consider himself whole without genitals that most closely resemble those of the average cis male. In reality, however, trans men vary in their need for specific embodiments (and cis men vary in their genital shapes!). Just as we should trust the individual to know their own gender, we should trust that they know their own body's needs best. Two mitigating factors should also be acknowledged here: (a) economic constraints, and (b) identity shifting over time. Many men who need genital reconstruction simply cannot afford it. This adds to the perception that very few trans men are seeking surgery and is one of the reasons that health-insurance reform is so crucial. Furthermore, men may live happily for many years without genital reconstruction and then come to know that they need it as part of their self-actualization journey. Shifts in self-perception should be respected even if they seem to contradict what one "knows" about an individual's history. 4. No trans men want genital reconstruction. For decades a logic has circulated within and outside trans communities that male genital surgeries simply aren't "worth it." This could refer to the expense, the pain of recovery, the time investment, or satisfaction with results. It's important to note that such assumptions aren't merely rooted in practicality. There is a tendency among trans men to dismiss their need for a penis (should they feel this way) because they know they are already men before taking physical measures to manifest this socially, and they are perhaps acutely aware of how damaging gender stereotypes like "size matters" can be. Furthermore, as Shannon Minter points out in the introduction to Hung Jury: Testimonies of Genital Surgery by Transsexual Men (Transgress Press, 2012), many trans men have internalized and perpetuate negative "blanket pronouncements" about surgeries as a coping mechanism for being unable to access them: When faced with financial and other barriers that seem to place genital surgeries out of reach, we [trans men] may seek to protect ourselves by devaluing what we cannot have. In addition, because many transgender men have been conditioned to deny our deepest needs, we may believe that we do not deserve genital surgery, or even unconsciously fear that we will be punished if we dare seek it out. In reality, many trans men do need genital reconstruction to feel somatically whole, so it's important to discuss, openly and without shame or dismissal, the desire and realities of becoming men with penises. Awareness that satisfying surgical options are available is essential to trans men's well-being. 5. Genital reconstructions are excessively risky. Every surgery involves risk, and genital procedures are no exceptions. Risks vary for common procedures like metoidioplasty, phalloplasty, hysterectomy, and scrotoplasty. Certain procedures also have multiple steps and techniques that affect risk. A final mitigating factor is an individual's body and health history. But philosophically speaking, what makes one consider risk excessive or prohibitive? As long as a doctor feels safe performing a procedure, perception of risk largely lies with the patient. And this perception often does not emerge from weighing statistics. The idea that trans men's genital reconstructions are too risky is intimately tied up with that previous question of whether surgery is worth it, and with the following question: "Can he do _____ with his body afterwards?" And the responses are as varied as the bodies being considered. If we forego the expectation that any particular appearance constitutes a real penis, or that possessing certain functions is all that makes a penis valuable, the question of risk becomes too complex to boil down to "it's too much," and it becomes clearer how risk assessments partly emerge from limiting gender norms -- which is often not a great place from which to make self-affirming decisions anyway. 6. If you can't _____ afterwards, there's no point in having genital reconstruction. It's undeniable: Penises hold a reverential place in patriarchal societies. Being born with or without a specific kind of penis (i.e., one of classifiable appearance and functions) is an automatic shorthand for "male" or "non-male" in Western societies. Because of this, having a medico-legally official penis doesn't simply confer a biological sex; it also confers social status and privilege. So in response to this misconception, I'd first have to ask: Why should "penis = man"? That one-shot deal doesn't leave enough room for the beautiful diversity of lived gender. No one, trans or cisgender, should have to "prove" that they have any specific body parts to have their gender respected. And indeed, a trans man can understand himself as having a penis without any surgical intervention. Still, if we try to fill in the blank, it's easy enough to come up with preconceived answers: "urinate while standing," "no longer be able to become pregnant," "have a X-inch-long penis," "have penetrative sex," "have testicles," "ejaculate sperm," "non-manually produce an erection," "no longer have a vagina," "have a certain genital shape," "feel certain sensations," "be able to impregnate someone," etc., etc. But the realities of why men seek surgery are again more complex than normative expectations. Every individual certainly does not desire all these things. Furthermore, if there are desires men have for their genitals that are not quite achievable through surgery, this does not mean that the reconstructions they do receive are a wholly unnecessary step on their journey. In fact, the "ideal" male genitalia these ideas evoke isn't achievable for many cisgender men either. 7. Little progress has been/will be made in available procedures. Genital reconstructions, like most surgeries, continue improving as surgeons practice them. As scholar Dr. Trystan Cotten points out in Hung Jury: New developments and breakthroughs in medical knowledge, surgical techniques, and technology are occurring every year. Surgical outcomes depend on a variety of factors ... [that] combine in ways that are unique and specific to each person, affecting everyone's healing and surgical outcomes differently. Thus it is difficult (and perhaps impossible) to make objective generalizations.... Misconceptions about a lack of progress emerge mostly around phalloplasty. However, it's clear from the array of techniques available that this procedure has improved greatly over the past several decades and will continue to do so. There are multiple options for skin donor sites, length and appearance; achieving and maintaining rigidity; and the construction of the scrotum (if needed). Considering surgeons' websites and portfolios, consulting with them directly, talking with former patients, and reading research are some of the quickest ways to bust this myth. 8. Trans men cannot obtain correct legal gender documentation without genital reconstruction. My answer to this myth is admittedly U.S.-centric, as that's where my personal experience lies, but I imagine and hope its applicability ranges to many countries. Historically, proof of "sex-change" surgery was required for a transgender person to be able to change their gender on legal documents in the U.S. However, according to the National Center for Transgender Equality, about half of U.S. states have nixed that requirement, and more are expected to do so. A recent major policy change saw the Social Security Administration implicitly acknowledging that not all trans people need surgery, nor are they all able to access it if needed. There are many identifying documents whose use varies from situation to situation: state IDs, passports, birth certificates, marriage certificates, death certificates, Social Security cards, and more. The polices on these shift across state lines or over time, making it impossible to say whether surgery will be required (and what kind of surgery, since chest reconstruction can often count). One thing is for certain, however: A trans man is a man whether he has a legal "M" on all his documents or on none of them, or has a mix of gender markers; whether or not he needs or obtains surgery; and, finally, whether or not he has enough socioeconomic privilege to access health care. |